Be Wise About Temptation (Part 1)

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0:00We're continuing our sermon series. We are just a few weeks away from wrapping this up in Proverbs 1 through 9, wisdom calls. As I've been saying the past couple of weeks, we're in the second half, and the second half is a little bit more detailed. We're applying wisdom to different facets of our life, important facets of our life. So as we get started today, let me ask you, have you ever said or done something? That you regret, and right afterwards you thought, why did I do that?

0:36Why did I say that? Never, never. And you, or maybe you go after something, or maybe you buy something, and you get home and you're like, why did I buy this again? And it's not just a lapse of memory. You really, there's something about what came out of your mouth, something about what came out of your actions, something that you did, and you don't, you did it without thinking, and there was something in you that just kind of went towards that, and it came out, and you just don't even understand.

1:09You know, it's fine to drive a car without knowing what's going on under the hood. You don't have to know that. You can outsource that to other people. You can use a computer without knowing what's happening inside the case, right? But you shouldn't live your life without knowing what's happening inside your heart.

1:30You can't outsource that. If you do, things are going to go sideways, often and with terrible consequences. And yet, when we open up the case, we look inside, our heart is muddy waters. I like to make this analogy that, you know, if you look in a swimming pool, you can see a coin all the way at the bottom, because it's nice and clear. But if you go to a lake, you know, you can look three inches, and then you can't see anything. And our hearts are like that lake.

2:07We try to look in and see, and we just can't really see much below the surface. So what are we to do? We need to live an examined life. We need to know what's going on inside here. But when we look, we can't see very far. It's hard for us to discern. What are we to do? Well, people of God, God is here to help us. He wants to help us. He knows that we're in over our heads, that we can't live an examined life even if we want to, but He can help us.

2:40He gives us the wisdom about what is happening inside our hearts. One of the functions of the book of Proverbs is to teach us what is going on inside of us, inside of these muddy, confused hearts of ours. Today, we are once again applying biblical wisdom to the topic of sex. We got a little week off last week, but now we're coming back to it this week and next week, and particularly temptation. So this is really part one, and it's going to be part one today and part two next week about temptation.

3:15This passage starts with something that's going on inside of us. That's our starting place today. So let's turn to Proverbs 6, 20 through 35. Let's kneel before the word of the Lord, knowing that He works through it, that He speaks through it, that these are the words of the Lord. They come to us from Him in love, with the power to change us, to show us both our great need and His great supply of grace and mercy and help for us in Jesus Christ.

3:56This is Proverbs 6, 20 through 35. Hear now the word of the Lord. My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you. When you lie down, they will watch over you. And when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light. And the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. To preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.

4:37Do not desire her beauty in your heart. Do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes into his neighbor's wife. None who touches her will go unpunished. People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry.

5:14But if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold. He will give all the goods of his house. He who commits adultery lacks sense. He who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor. And his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious. And he will not spare when he takes revenge. He will accept no compensation. He will refuse though you multiply gifts. Pray with me. Lord Jesus, you command our attention with your holy word.

5:59Lord, these are not just sayings that are helpful sometimes. This is deep truth that you're bringing to us to meet our deep need. And Lord, we are people who are tempted. So will you please teach us about temptation, about our own hearts. And will you lead us beside green pastures, Lord. Lead us not into temptation. We know that you're faithful to keep that promise. Help us listen to you now. Be changed by your word to be encouraged by the grace that meets us through Jesus Christ, our Savior.

6:37It's in his name we pray. Okay, so be wise about temptation. Part one. Some people say, why do Christians make such a big deal about sex? Anybody ever heard someone who's not a Christian say that? Why do you Christians make such a big deal about sex? It seems like it's all you ever talk about, people say to Christians. Well, to that I would say a couple things. First, we're going to get another sermon from AI. Hi. It's okay. It's all right.

7:30The word of God speaks louder than our phones. So I'm not worried about that. So to the accusation that Christians talk too much about sex, all the time about sex, the first thing I would say is our culture also makes a big deal about sex. Sometimes it seems like it's all they ever talk about. So I really don't think Christians talk about sex any more than anyone else does. It's just that what we're saying is countercultural and unpopular. Right?

8:06But more to the point, we talk about sex a lot because the Bible talks about sex a lot. It's addressed throughout the Bible. And here in Proverbs 1-9, it comes up multiple times. Three different topics about sex in this introduction. I think that all of us, Christian and non-Christian, everyone's making a big deal about sex because we know that really sex is a big deal. Well, let's just call it what it is. God designed it as something significant.

8:43And even when we misuse it, we still know it's significant. And that's why everyone's talking about it. Whether you want to follow the Lord in it or not, you get deep down that it's weighty. It's significant to us. And it is that way because God's made it significant. So, we're going to examine this passage with the three lenses. Danger, desire, and deliverance. Danger, desire, and deliverance. So, let's start with danger.

9:20The passage starts, and the godly father and the godly mother are speaking with one voice. My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching. Now, like I did last time when we were on the subject of sex, we're going to dive right into application. Take note here. Both parents are involved in the wise upbringing of their children. Neither parent is delegating discipline and instruction entirely to the other. Right? Mom here is not saying, hey, he's your son, dad.

10:00Go talk to him about this subject that I don't want to talk about. Right? And I'm sure if this was a daughter, it would be the same. They're both involved. Moms and dads, it's vital for your kids, for you to be unified and mutually engaged, including on the topic of sex. They need to hear a consistent message from both of you.

10:26This takes frequent huddling up to get on the same page. Smile at Nikki because we've recently had some huddles. You have to huddle up to be like, okay, let's talk this through. Let's get on the same page as we approach our kids about some topic. It takes, it's hard work to huddle up a lot. But it's terribly, terribly important. Be unified. Use this passage as a model. Your father's commandment, your mother's teaching. Commandment and teaching, those are just synonyms.

11:02Right? Mother and father are speaking with one voice about this subject. And the parents are trying to keep their son from this danger. The danger of the evil woman. The smooth tongue of the adulteress. Now let me repeat what I said a couple weeks ago. Don't get hung up on the gender here. Okay? They are speaking to their son. So of course they frame up this character as female. There are also evil men.

11:33This is a character and it represents sexual sin. Here the specific sin is adultery. Now we know that this is a great concern to God. It's the seventh commandment after all. But don't view what is said here in Proverbs 6 too narrowly. Okay? Adultery is not only when a married person has sex with someone who isn't their spouse. That's the narrow form. The clearest form perhaps. But remember what Jesus said. Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

12:14When we take Jesus at his word, we have to conclude that God's command against adultery is really a command against any form of sexual activity outside of marriage. It's all bound up there in that one verse. And since every negative command in God's word also has positive implications, things that we should take positively, that we should do, the implication of this is that we are commanded to promote sexual purity in ourselves and others. To command against something and towards something.

12:52So all of this is on the table for us in Proverbs 6, okay? We need to remember this. The parents are speaking about adultery narrowly. But we also ought to understand it broadly with Jesus' words in mind.

13:09And yet, this is Proverbs. This is wisdom literature. It's different than law. God's law tells us what to do, what not to do. With very little explanation sometimes or rationale. Now, wisdom goes the other direction. It tries to persuade by describing outcomes. Practical consequences. So that we learn that something is not just prohibited, but foolish, stupid. We get a distaste for it by reading about the outcomes. Here's what the parents tell the son.

13:48And remember, let's take this broadly, not just narrowly. Here's what they tell him. First, the harm that comes through adultery is certain. It's inevitable. It's like carrying fire next to your chest. Your clothes are going to get burned. Probably your skin, too. It's like walking on hot coals. Anybody here ever walked on hot coals? I know you can do that some places. On vacation, I guess. Douglas, you think you'll do that when you go to Hawaii soon?

14:24Be careful. Your feet might get scorched. It's certain. He gives these examples because they are so obvious. Of course, the damage is going to come. The harm is going to come. So is he who goes into his neighbor's wife. None who touches her will go unpunished. Now, when we read this narrowly, we think, well, of course. A jealous spouse might come after me, might come knocking at my door with a tire iron or a gun. So I'd better not do that. But it's still true when we consider adultery broadly as sexual sin in general.

15:03Sexual sin brings certain harm. Even when there is no jealous spouse involved that might come banging at your door. Sex outside of marriage leaves trust issues, especially when the relationship ends.

15:22If you get married, lingering shame can be felt and can be associated with your marital intimacy. And the harm of pornography is certain, too. It warps your view of sex and of the other gender. It scars your soul. And it will affect your sex life if you are married or you get married someday. It will.

15:57The harm is certain. Parents also say that the harm is total. He says a thief who steals to eat gets punished, but the people view the crime with some level of sympathy and understanding. That's what verses 30 and 31 are saying. He gets punished, but it's a little bit understandable. He was hungry, right? There is not that much shame associated with it. But adultery doesn't get the same pass. The consequences are wounds and dishonor, disgrace.

16:40Sexual sin is shameful. Now, our culture has been trying to wash away that shame for generations. And it's... It is... It went... It accelerated in the sexual revolution and it's been going that way ever since. Trying to de-stigmatize one form of sexual sin after the other. Saying that anything a consenting adult does is fine. Don't feel any shame about it.

17:12First, it was promiscuity. I don't know if you heard this, but this is about 10 years ago. There was a website, I think it's defunct now, called Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison was a site where married people could hook up with each other. Their tagline was, go ahead, have an affair. De-stigmatizing adultery. We're now in a phase of trying to de-stigmatize pornography. But you can't unwire how God made you. It's not working to de-stigmatize sexual sin.

17:51We know that porn and hookups and adultery are not what God gave us sex for. To prove this, you only need to look at the case of the couple at the Coldplay concert. This happened last summer. For those of you who don't know, you know, at concerts sometimes they put a camera on people in the crowd, right? Well, they put a camera on a couple. Guy was behind, kind of arms around this woman. As soon as they got up there and Chris Martin started talking about, oh, look at them.

18:33When they looked up at the screen, they broke apart. She ducked down. He went out of the camera. Why did they do that? Because they were having an affair. They went to this concert. At least one of them had a spouse. I forget now. I know one of them did. But this was an affair. And when the camera got on them, what did they do? They hid. Their immediate reaction was to hide. They didn't celebrate their affair. They hid. They knew it was wrong. They knew it was shameful.

19:17We can try all we like to destigmatize these things. It's not going to work. And we should worry if it ever does for someone. And speaking of the Coldplay couple, they both experienced what verse 32 says. He who does it destroys himself.

19:38They were having an affair because they were working together. They both lost their jobs. The married spouse is in the midst of divorce. Children are involved. Those children are horrified and betrayed. Their lives have been put on display. It's led to wreckage for both of these families.

20:01There are real consequences to adultery broadly and narrowly. To sexual sin. The parents want their son to understand this. They're telling him things that he might not have thought about. The harm is certain. The harm is total. But there's one thing that they say that we need to spend just a little bit more time on. And that's what they say about desire.

20:31There's a lot of mention of outcomes and consequences in 25-35. But there's only one command. There's only one command in all of that section. And it's verse 25. There's something inside that needs to be understood. Something lurking below the surface. They say, do not desire her beauty. The first person that the parents point to and warn him about is not the adulteress. It's him. It's their son.

21:08They know that temptation doesn't start out there. It starts in here. The root of temptation is desire. Imagine driving on a mountainous road the kind where on your right you can't even see the drop off because it's so steep. And imagine it's one of these roads that they haven't put guardrails on. Now imagine driving it in a car that's out of alignment. That's pulling to the right.

21:46It's even more dangerous, right? That's what the parents are telling the son about. Look inside, son. See what's there. Reckon with it. Now listen, desires themselves are not bad or wrong inherently. I'm not saying that. The Bible doesn't say that. Look at Psalm 34-7. I'm sorry, 37-4. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will do what? He will give you the desires of your heart. Okay? But the Hebrew word translated desire in this verse is different than the word translated desire in Proverbs 6.

22:28The one in Proverbs 6, it's weighty. The Hebrew word is hamad. And this is the same word found in the 10th commandment. You shall not covet. What? Your neighbor's wife.

22:55Hamad is not morally neutral desire. Hamad is excessive desire. Stemming from discontent with God and with what God has provided. That's hamad. That's desire in this sense of coveting. Excessive desire. You want it so much because you're discontent with what God has provided for you and who He is Himself. It's a very old word describing a very, very old problem. Hamad is what happened in the garden when Eve saw that the tree was to be desired to make one wise.

23:35That's also the word hamad. I don't want to go to God to get wisdom. I want to go there. It looks delicious. It looks appealing. God's holding out on me. It's this desire that the parents see in their son. And they know what he doesn't know that they have to start there.

24:04The whole next chapter, chapter 7, is about the strategies of temptation. The ways that enticement comes at us. But before any of that, they must address the desire, the hamad, within their son. And so must we. Here's what we can learn from the parents' advice in this one verse. First of all, don't deny it or ignore it. Recognize it. Be aware of it. It is in your heart and my heart.

24:42One phrase I cringe at is the devil made me do it. Yes, Satan is real. Yes, he prowls around like a lion seeking someone to devour. Yes, he and his demonic allies will tempt you. But it's a deflection to say the devil made me do it. And it's just not true. No, he didn't.

25:14James 1.14 tells us this. Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. We want things. Things we can't have. Things God hasn't given us. It is foolish to ignore this going on in our hearts. To deny that it's not. That it's there. The fact that it's there is why the parents said earlier in verse 21, bind wisdom on your heart always. Because there's already hamad in your heart. There has to be wisdom and truth getting in there mixing it up with that hamad.

25:55Throwing elbows and fists against that inside you. Tie them around your neck they said so that they are close at hand. Listen, scripture memorization is a valuable tool. If you're not using it, you should. Tie them around your neck. Memorize the word of God so that you can have it right at hand when the temptation comes and it begins to connect with that hamad in your heart.

26:30Memorizing scripture is a way of acknowledging there are desires within me that belong to my old self. And so I must put something else in there. Something true. Something that helps me be my new self.

26:49So don't ignore it. Recognize it. Be aware of it. And second is this. Don't condone it or allow it to rest. Fight it. Fight it, brothers and sisters. With all the strength God gives you.

27:13Do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. What exactly is the capture here? Eyelashes are not a gun or a knife. They're not going to force you into a car. They're not going to force you into bed. What is the capture? The capture is allowing that allure to connect with the hamad, the desire without any fight.

27:40It's letting it happen to you. You cannot stop the eyelashes that wave, but you can choose to not make eye contact. Turn away from who or what is enticing you. But what you should examine, what you should take a good hard look at is the desire within you. What is it that God is keeping from you?

28:11What lies are you believing? Don't let that desire remain unchallenged and undisturbed in you. Oh well, it's there. Can't do anything about it. No. Look at it as an unwelcome house guest, a squatter in your heart that you are working hard at to kick out.

28:37You don't belong here. I am new now. The spirit lives in me. Get out of here. Take that fight seriously. Don't be passive. Be active. The same spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in you if you belong to Christ by faith.

29:01That spirit is more powerful. He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world and it's greater than the old self that still resides in you. Paul says in Colossians 3.5, Put to death therefore what is earthly in you, covetousness, which is idolatry.

29:28But how? How can we fight it? Well, I got this from an article I'll tell you about in a second. Here's one significant way to fight it in your heart. Cultivate gratitude. If you're writing, if you're a person that likes to write things down, please write that down. Fight it by cultivating gratitude. Lust and coveting are a form of discontent, so an important step is to develop a greater gratitude for what God has given you. Brothers and sisters, what do we deserve from God?

30:05Absolutely nothing good and death. We are sinners. We deserve nothing. But what has God given us in Christ Jesus our Lord? life and fellowship and friendship and companionship and peace and assurance and hope and if it wasn't enough that He gave us Himself, He gave us other people that we could walk with. Brothers and sisters, a new family. We are not by ourselves. Spiritually or physically. We need to dwell on these things because the more thankful we are, the more covetousness within us withers.

30:49Author John Bloom says this in that article that I found. We'll link it in next week's email. This is a really helpful article for me. He says this, Lust might feel powerful and thankfulness might feel meek, but when thankfulness is truly present, lust is no match for it. Thanksgiving is not merely a nice Christian character trait, it is a sin conquering force.

31:18It was amazing to dwell on this and look at how many times coming right after a command to flee from things like sexual immorality, covetousness, idolatry, someone like Paul says, be thankful. He immediately turns to it. Be thankful. Flee from those things. Let thankfulness dwell within you. It really is something that overcomes that desire in our heart. When we let the Spirit work up in us a greater gratitude for what He has given us and we see once again my Father is not holding out on me.

32:04He's given me far more than I could ask or imagine or deserve. Right? Anybody else feel like that? Look at how much my Father has given me. What was I doing? Coveting and desiring and lusting.

32:26The root of temptation is within us but through gratitude to God we uproot it. So I want to end with something to stir up our gratitude to God. Here's the last section. Briefly, let's talk about deliverance. With such a broad understanding of adultery and such grave consequences for it, we are left searching for some assurance. How can sinners like us hope to avoid the outcome spoken of here in Proverbs 6? How? Because of our adoring and redeeming husband, Jesus Christ.

33:05In the Bible, God has an analogy for idolatry. He calls it spiritual adultery. Our God is a jealous God. He wants all of our love for himself and he deserves it. Oh, how he deserves it. But rather than leave his people to destroy themselves in spiritual adultery, to waste their resources and spend their life chasing false lovers, he sent his son to rescue them.

33:42Jesus, lover of our soul. He gave up the riches of glory to pull us out of spiritual poverty. He exposed himself to God's wrath death and was shamed on the cross to cover up our shame and our dishonor. And he overturns the idols and defeats the sin that enticed us.

34:11God is the jealous husband who comes knocking and overcomes the enemy and brings us back home. And he promised us all this in the prophet Hosea. therefore behold the Lord speaks, I will allure her and I will tenderly speak to her and in that day you will call me my husband. I will betroth you to me forever in steadfast love and mercy. If you have trusted Jesus, this is what he's done for you. And he will purify your hearts. even now he has begun a new work of life in you and a work that he will complete when he returns.

34:57Hallelujah for the love of Christ who comes to wayward, adulterous people not to punish but to rescue. And our lover knows that we need help. We need it right now. We need it today. He knows our weakness. He knows the sin that still clings so closely. He knows the struggles that we have. He knows the desire can feel overwhelming. He knows he cares he helps. And that's why he's given you the Holy Spirit. He's given you the right companion. In verse 22 the wise parents speak of what instruction and wisdom do for their son.

35:42The verse says they will. But the Hebrew is feminine singular. So the more accurate translation is she will. Once again it's a mention of lady wisdom. The personification of God's wisdom in Christ. Where you walk she will lead you. She is your guide. Like a shepherd reliably directing you to green pastures. Here it is. Here's what you're looking for. Here's the water that refreshes you. Not that slop you've been drinking. Come over here. When you lie down she will watch over you.

36:23She is your guard your security even in the vulnerability of sleep. You're safe. When you awake she will talk with you. She's your counselor. She's your advisor. AI tools want to be this for us but what God offers is better.

36:45Wisdom is the beautiful companion that we should desire. The wisdom of Christ dwells with us in the Holy Spirit Spirit and it's given to all who trust in Him. In this world of temptation around us and in us it is so good isn't it to have this lamp and this light to guide us in the ways of life.